What to do with September 11th?

So, this blog is supposed to be about food now. But it’s September 11^th, and I have to do something about September 11^th. Every year, I find myself wondering about this, and I don’t know. What am I supposed to do with September 11^th? 

I don’t have any special 9/11 story. No relatives or friends in the towers, no military parents, no very personal connection to any of it, really. But I remember where I was, just like everyone else does. I was at Orchard Park Elementary School, standing in line with the rest of my class after our Spanish hour, waiting for our teacher to come get us. And waiting and waiting and waiting. And when she did come, she came walking quickly, and with a strange look on her face, and another teacher with her. They spoke in a whispering huddle with the Spanish teacher for a long time. And then she took us back to our normal classroom, and she sat us all down, and she told us what happened.

But it didn’t mean anything right then. I didn’t know what the World Trade Center was; I didn’t know what the Pentagon was; I didn’t know what it looked like when a plane smashed into a building. She told us that we didn’t need to be afraid, but I didn’t even know I had anything to be afraid of. I was eleven and in the fifth grade, and I didn’t know much of anything about anything. People just a few years younger than me probably don’t remember much about that day at all. As the years go on and on and we all grow old, my peers and I will eventually be among the last few who do remember.

But I don’t think that any of us know what to do with September 11^th now. The memorials get smaller and for the most part we go about our business. People don’t seem to think about it, they don’t mention it during the day, and you’re allowed to schedule normal events on it now. And I know that as the years go on, that will probably become more and more true. Maybe it’s better that way. Maybe we need to just go on about our business. Maybe if we’re too sad, the terrorists win. Maybe.

I certainly don’t blame anyone for not wanting to think about it. I hate that it’s called Patriot’s Day- the word “Patriot” just brings back memories of freedom fries, and bitter elections, and wars founded on lies. Plus, there isn’t much about September 11^th that makes me feel particularly patriotic. All those people in the towers and the Pentagon didn’t go to work that day with any idea of being martyrs for the cause of freedom. It was a mass murder and that doesn’t make me feel especially devoted to my country; it just makes me feel sad. So I don't feel like I can commemorate 9/11 by celebrating America, although maybe that would be the most positive way to do it- to focus on our identity as a unified nation, one that has recovered and held it together. But that doesn't seem right either. This doesn't feel like a unified nation to me, and it doesn't feel like we've recovered either. I don't think you ever really recover from something like September 11th, you just make a new normal. And that's where we live now.

But still, I want to keep mourning the kind of hate that causes this kind of thing to happen, because it will never stop being a tragedy. I don’t want to pretend that September 11^th happened and is all over, when the repercussions are still reverberating all over the world. I don’t want to forget that the 3,000 people who died that day were just the beginning the thousands that would die in the ensuing “War on Terror.” I want to commemorate the day that everything changed. I want to pray for peace. I want to think and talk about what kind of world I live in, and why. Especially for me, and the people my age, even if we were young and we didn’t really understand, we were raised in the aftermath of September 11^th. We, of all people, the group that will be the last ones to remember, should stop and reflect on the events that turned our world into the one it is now. 

And this year, I guess that’s what I’ll do about September 11^th.